As a recent divorcee with two small children, I've faced many challenges, but none have taken such a physical toll on me as my most recent endeavor – running a half-marathon. It was during those long (long, long) miles that it suddenly occurred to me that a race bears a lot of similarity to something I am all too familiar with.

The process of preparing for and running a marathon is very much like the struggles of a divorce.
Obviously, I am still alive and kicking and even better for having survived the challenges. I believe that anyone facing a divorce, or in the middle of one, can benefit knowing that they too will survive and can even (believe it or not) prosper. It may seem impossible at some stages but, like racing, the pain of divorce can lead to personal growth and triumph if you allow it to.

The following is my observation of the similarities between road racing and divorce:

Something in your life makes you decide that this is the time.

Running: You may reach a milestone in your life and need a challenge. You may want to make a change in your physical fitness. Whatever the reason, something spurs you on to make this choice. For me, it was the need to set a goal I could work towards and the confidence that comes from a race well run.

Divorce: Many relationships reach a milestone or a turning point from which the decision is made. Oftentimes, it is when all avenues have been exhausted. A couple may have tried counseling and anything else available but things just could not be worked out.

Running: You find out about races in your area and what the races entail. You set your goal for running the race and decide on the training regimen that you want to follow.

Divorce: You do research whether through an attorney or on your own. You find out how the process and the system works. You then decide whether or not you really want to go through with the divorce.

Running: You log your miles. You may change your diet or other things in your life to make the training worthwhile and effective. You further define your goal, you're no longer just running the race but how fast are you running.

Divorce: You start the process with the preliminary steps. You choose an attorney or mediator. You file the petition.

Running: You run the actual race! The first half you may feel okay and feel the excitement of what's ahead. You feel nervous but once you are into the race that nervousness or excitement may turn to pain or perhaps even agony – especially in the case of long distance runs, like marathons.

Divorce: In the beginning everything is under control. There is a lot of pain to go through both emotionally and financially. Living through the middle part of the divorce can sap all of your strength and energy.
The FINISH

Running: You have a feeling of accomplishment and pride in having made it to the finish line. You may feel sore but that feeling will fade. You have the knowledge that you set a goal and stuck with it.
Divorce: You may not feel the same sense of accomplishment. In fact, guilt might always be with you in some shape or form. The feelings of pain fades with time. You will feel stronger in some ways, and feel scared in other ways. The most important thing is that you allow yourself to grow from the experience.

And so, I soak my feet, treat my blisters, rub my sore muscles and get ready for the next hurdle. I don't know what it may be but knowing that I could make this one gives me the strength to face whatever is in store for me next.